Highway to Hellacious

I am sorry I haven’t done episode 1 or 2 yet. Unlike the Impala, my computer isn’t reliable. Maybe I’ll get to the other episodes during hiatus. Anyway …

THE GIRL NEXT DOOR

Okay, so Dean’s in this hospital and his leg’s all broken. That’s kinda a big deal; are we gonna jump ahead a couple months sometime soon? Otherwise, he’s gonna be sacked out on the couch for half a season, and that would suck. What if he can’t drive?

CRACK GOES HIS LEG! Oh, and then he wakes up and he’s all drugged and it makes him fall and almost black out and stuff. You know, when I was in the hospital, they have me stuff that made me the happiest person in the whole world, but I wasn’t dizzy or about to faint. I just wanted to hug everyone, never mind that I was in the hospital because both my arms were fucked.

Of course, Sam and Dean went to Sioux Falls Hospital, which is land of the leviathan. Luckily, the leviathan are too busy playing doctor to notice Bobby (if it is Bobby) coming back to the hospital, Dean being passed out in a hospital bed, and Sam being wheeled around all over the place because it’s really, really hard to find the MRI machines. And then everyone escapes in an ambulance.

I will admit, this is the point where the episode started to go downhill for me. For one thing, a lot of the plot is just stupid. Dean wants Sam to go get him pie from a convenience store? I guess he could pick up Hostess. It’s cute that he mentions not being able to drive his baby, but it starts off a pattern that I found really annoying: no one stops talking about the Impala in this episode, but we almost never see it!

Sam goes to the convenience store and sees a newspaper with something about an ice pick killer in the newspaper, which makes Sam flash back to when things were yellow. It was a better time, I guess.

Blah, blah, blah. Sam returns to Rufus’ old cabin thingy and reveals that he can no longer tell the difference between pie and cake, and that’s just nuts. Almost as nuts as Sam. He steals Dean’s car, and that’s just an outrage. And the episode says a billion times, the Impala’s not Sam’s baby, it is Dean’s baby. Plus, we’re talking about a guy who can’t even tell if he’s driving or in the passenger seat. We’re talking near-Bella Swan levels of unreliable POV, here.

Dean steals (?) a station wagon to track down Sam. Also wrong.

I don’t feel like going through the plot filler here, but it boils down to Sam liking some girl who killed her mom for him (sure, kitsune Sr. was evil, but at least she can recognize a classic Impala on sight). Also, Amy Pond’s a monster, and she’s killing people because she needs to ‘cuz her son needs fresh brains because he’s ill. Sam decides to let her go. It’s all long and intermittently yellow. The important thing to remember is that Sam still has Dean’s car.

When Sam returns after not killing his first monster-kiss, Dean punches him in the face. “You steal my baby, you get punched.” It’s an admirable sentiment, because it’s not cool that Sam would take off with Dean’s baby like that. At the same time, I’m not sure it helped Sam’s brain damage. Then again, if he goes brain dead, he’ll stop stealing cars. Maybe that’s Dean’s goal in punching him.

Sam asks Dean to trust him, like he didn’t just steal Dean’s baby. And then Dean takes his baby to go stab the shit out of Sam’s old flame, timing it perfectly so he can be the six-fingered man/Beatrix Kiddo to some monster kid who now has to go spend a lot of time learning to sword fight.

The episode ends with a leviathan dumping cheese all over his next snack – a convenience store clerk. Yes, Show, everything is better with cheese. Except, you know, a plot that has Sam in the Impala instead of Dean.

Rating: This isn’t Ford Pinto or Reliable Robin bad, I don’t think, but it still kinda sucked. I’m giving it a Dacia Sandero.

Sera Gamble gets a lot of crap, and I think some of it is deserved. But I will say that she *gets* the eternal combustion engine that is Dean’s love for the Impala. Season 6 actually gave us some great Impala and Dean/Impala moments.

For example, in “Mannequin 3: The Reckoning”, we learn that the Impala is not a sex doll.

The Impala’s a classy girl. You don’t just use the Impala. You love her.

And I love it when Dean defends his baby!

And now I want to cry, thinking about the end of the season.

So maybe I should take back the one or two nice things I’ve ever said about Sera Gamble.

It’s really easy to pick Supernatural season 6 apart. Between nothing making any sense and the rampant character assassination, it really represents a Show not knowing what the Hell to do with itself.

I mean, I found 6x01: Exile on Main Street downright traumatizing. WTH did the writers do to Dean, yo!? I get that he, like, wants out of the hunting life and is keeping his stupid promise to lame-o Sam, but what the Hell did he do to his baby? Keeping her under wraps? No! OMG! It’s wroooooong. Especially because of what he drives instead. A FREAKING PICK-UP. My Chuck. I can’t even. AND THEN HE TRIES TO GIVE THE IMPALA TO SAM. He might as well have offered Lisa.

Sorry, it is *extremely* hard not to get upset over the crappy writing, here.

But, in the hopes of not totally dreading season 7, I thought I’d take a look at what S6 did right. Unfortunately, I don’t have the season 6 DVDs yet and can’t stopwatch or anything like that, so this is all from memory. But I’d like to think I’m good at remembering the absolute best things to happen in the season, lol!

6x02 - Two and a Half Men

There was a baby and stuff. But the best part was the sexxin’. I adore a good strip tease.

Seriously, it is beyond gorgeous. Like, I might have to go change my underwear, lololol!

6x03: The Third Man

I really like that Sam starts off the sixth season not riding around with Dean, especially since we get moments like this:

I think the rest of the good stuff happens in the back half of the season, so I will group those together in a separate post. :)

Until then, feast:

Guys, I just rewatched “Simon Said” from season 2, and it made me all nostalgic. For such a major character, the Impala doesn’t get nearly enough screen time (you know what, I will have to get a stopwatch to prove this), and while we still don’t see enough of her, the parts we do get are awesome.

Say what you will about Andy Gallagher, but he’s obviously a hapless stoner of excellent taste:

ANDY
This is a cherry ride.

DEAN
Yeah, thanks.

ANDY
Man, the ‘67? Impala’s best year if you ask me. This is a serious classic.

And then Dean gives his baby away!

DEAN
Yeah, can’t let a car like this one go.

ANDY
Damn straight. Hey. Can I have it?

DEAN
Sure, man.

Oh man oh man! It kills me every time, even if it’s hilarious (BUT SO WRONG), when we see Andy driving her. Only Dean drives his baby! And don’t talk to me about Sam, because that was terrible. Sam shouldn’t drive anything cooler than a Volvo. Actually, he shouldn’t drive anything cooler than an AMC Gremlin.

Anyway, I’d normally be upset about someone stealing the Impala, but it’s so worth it because we see Dean all worried about her! And he apologizes! It’s so cute!

DEAN
Thank god! Oh. I’m sorry, baby. I’ll never leave you again.

Also, when he finds her, that camera angles SO WE SEE INSIDE HER.

There are not enough shots of the Impala’s front seats without the boys in them, but here we can really see her gorgeous bench seats. We can really appreciate the way her soft, leather interior contrasts with her smooth, sleek, hard body.

Of course, then the episode forgets all about her and it becomes about Jedi twins or something. But at least we got all the good stuff earlier!

Also, I promise my season 7 reviews will be *way* more balanced. This wasn’t a review or recap so much as some squeeing because sometimes you just have to squee over all the pretty on this show.

Seriously, what a gorgeous car.

Hi, I thought I would make this tumblr to review season 7 of my favorite show, “Supernatural” on the CW. It is about a 1967 Chevy Impala, and the two brothers who drive it across the U.S., hunting monsters and demons. Well, Dean drives. Sam rides shotgun.

I am kinda nervous about the new season, because I did not like the direction of season 6. I don’t know, I just feel like the show hasn’t been as good since Kripke left. Plus, season 6 completely wrecked my favorite character, and I’m still kinda upset and unsure about what the new season holds. I always thought it was stupid when people complained about their characters being destroyed, but then it happened to me, and it’s devastating. The worst part is that it seemed kinda pointless, like Sera Gamble just wanted to hurt the fans.

I know it’s not the first time the Impala has been wrecked, so I think she’ll get fixed eventually. But I don’t know how quickly it will happen. I guess it depends on how much time is supposed to have passed between the finale of season 6 and the premiere of season 7. I’m not sure if Dean will have had time to fix her yet. I just hope he doesn’t hit her with a crowbar again, because that was so terrible to watch.

So yeah. September 23, guys!